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#1 |
Liverpool 'til I die......
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: England
Posts: 365
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PEOPLE & THEIR DRINKS
A recent magazine survey, interviewed fifty bartenders and they were asked if they could identify a customer’s personality on what drinks they ordered? Although interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. The results: IF WOMEN DRINK ... BEER Personality: Casual, low maintenance; down to earth. Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool. COCKTAILS OR BLENDER DRINKS WITH UMBRELLA Personality: Flaky, annoying, dizzy, and a pain in the ass. Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy. MIXED DRINKS - NO UMBRELLAS E.G.; GIN AND TONIC / SCOTCH AND SODA Personality: Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants Approach: If she wants you, she’ll send YOU a drink. WATER Personality: Pretentious and is looking for a serious relationship. Approach: Don’t. WINE - (BOTTLED, NOT 4 LITRE CASK) Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated. Approach: Try and weave Paris and clothing into the conversation. BACARDI BREEZER, RED SQUARE, ARCHERS COOLER, SMIRNOFF ICE, MUDSHAKE ETC. Personality: Easy; thinks she is trendy and sophisticated actually has no clue. Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is... and you’re in. CAPE VELVET Personality: Annoying voice, bit of a tart. Approach: Stand close and mention the alley next to the pub. SHOTS AND SLAMMERS (TEQUILA, VODKA, AFTERSHOCK ETC.) Personality: Hangs around with male work pals or looking to get drunk...and naked. Approach: Easiest hit in the pub, Nothing to do but wait....... IF MEN DRINK... (As always, very simple and clear cut.) CIDER He’s probably under-aged and wants to get laid. CHEAP DOMESTIC BEER He’s poor / student and wants to get laid. CASTLE LAGER BEER He likes good beer and wants to get laid. IMPORTED BEER He’s old; he likes good beer and wants to get laid. GUINNESS The man is a rapist and will get laid one way or another. WATER He just threw up and is trying to wash the taste out of his mouth so that he can still get laid WINE He’s hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image and help him get laid. VODKA OR BRANDY Extremely horny hound, would shag a warm scarf. Desperate to get laid. PORT Thinks he’s sophisticated, secretly likes men and wants to get laid. WHISKY He doesn’t give two $hits about anything and will hit anyone who will get in his way of getting laid. JACK DANIELS Not as masculine as the whisky drinker, knows all about feminine activities (knitting, crochet etc.) to weasel himself into getting laid. RUM OR TEQUILA Likes fighting almost as much as getting laid. BACARDI BREEZER, RED SQUARE, ARCHERS COOLER, SMIRNOFF ICE, ETC He’s gay (blatantly) - don’t turn your back or pick up any dropped change.
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"There will come a moment when you have the chance to do the right thing......" "I Love those moments - I like to wave at them as they pass by...." ![]() Stop !! Before you post read this ! cynthia is Queen of the smilies ! |
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#2 |
Digital Video Enthusiast
![]() Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: 6000 ft above Sea Level
Posts: 399
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That's priceless, lfcrule1972. Love it!
Wine drinker myself, but I think Paris is a bit spoiled! |
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#3 |
Interstellar Traveler
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Area 51
Posts: 550
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TEQUILA, Please ......
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#4 |
Liverpool 'til I die......
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: England
Posts: 365
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I have never been to Paris, either the French Capital nor the Hotel Heiress.....
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#5 |
Liverpool 'til I die......
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: England
Posts: 365
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Mines a whisky then
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#6 |
Liverpool 'til I die......
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: England
Posts: 365
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Doesn't look good for Guinness drinkers tho eh ?
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#7 | |
Interstellar Traveler
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Area 51
Posts: 550
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#8 | |
Interstellar Traveler
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Area 51
Posts: 550
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#9 |
results may vary
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 164
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Makers Mark Johnie Walker or Henry Weinhards basically all i drink(as far as alcohol is concerned). I'll drink Jack Daniels if they don't have makers so i guess i need to learn how to sew and knit, but how will that get me laid?
BTW ALienX they have Michelob in Area 51, Anheusher Busch is everywhere! Last edited by floresdave; 29 Jun 2006 at 11:21 PM |
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#10 |
Super Member
![]() Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Tangent Universe
Posts: 232
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I'm an import, guinness and rum drinker almost exclusively. LT will be arresting me shortly....
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#11 |
He is coming to your little town!
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Sioux City,IA
Posts: 2,137
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There is no substitute
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#12 | |
Digital Video Enthusiast
![]() Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: 6000 ft above Sea Level
Posts: 399
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#13 |
Digital Video Maniac
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 1,131
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Pina Coladas and Margaritas for me!!
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#14 |
Liverpool 'til I die......
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: England
Posts: 365
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Hey this is turning into a meeting of alcoholics anonymous......... I will go first....
Hi everyone - I am lfcrule1972 and I am an alcoholic............. |
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#15 | |
Digital Video Technician
![]() Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Illinois
Posts: 449
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