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  • lfcrule1972
    Liverpool 'til I die......
    • Nov 2003
    • 365

    People and their Drinks

    PEOPLE & THEIR DRINKS


    A recent magazine survey, interviewed fifty bartenders and they were asked if they could identify a customer’s personality on what drinks they ordered?
    Although interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.
    The results:

    IF WOMEN DRINK ...

    BEER
    Personality: Casual, low maintenance; down to earth.
    Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

    COCKTAILS OR BLENDER DRINKS WITH UMBRELLA
    Personality: Flaky, annoying, dizzy, and a pain in the ass.
    Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.

    MIXED DRINKS - NO UMBRELLAS E.G.; GIN AND TONIC / SCOTCH AND SODA
    Personality: Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants
    Approach: If she wants you, she’ll send YOU a drink.

    WATER
    Personality: Pretentious and is looking for a serious relationship.
    Approach: Don’t.

    WINE - (BOTTLED, NOT 4 LITRE CASK)
    Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated.
    Approach: Try and weave Paris and clothing into the conversation.

    BACARDI BREEZER, RED SQUARE, ARCHERS COOLER, SMIRNOFF ICE, MUDSHAKE ETC.
    Personality: Easy; thinks she is trendy and sophisticated actually has no clue.
    Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is... and you’re in.

    CAPE VELVET
    Personality: Annoying voice, bit of a tart.
    Approach: Stand close and mention the alley next to the pub.

    SHOTS AND SLAMMERS (TEQUILA, VODKA, AFTERSHOCK ETC.)
    Personality: Hangs around with male work pals or looking to get drunk...and naked.
    Approach: Easiest hit in the pub, Nothing to do but wait.......


    IF MEN DRINK... (As always, very simple and clear cut.)

    CIDER
    He’s probably under-aged and wants to get laid.

    CHEAP DOMESTIC BEER
    He’s poor / student and wants to get laid.

    CASTLE LAGER BEER
    He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

    IMPORTED BEER
    He’s old; he likes good beer and wants to get laid.

    GUINNESS
    The man is a rapist and will get laid one way or another.

    WATER
    He just threw up and is trying to wash the taste out of his mouth so that he can still get laid

    WINE
    He’s hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image and help him get laid.

    VODKA OR BRANDY
    Extremely horny hound, would shag a warm scarf. Desperate to get laid.

    PORT
    Thinks he’s sophisticated, secretly likes men and wants to get laid.

    WHISKY
    He doesn’t give two $hits about anything and will hit anyone who will get in his way of getting laid.

    JACK DANIELS
    Not as masculine as the whisky drinker, knows all about feminine activities (knitting, crochet etc.) to weasel himself into getting laid.

    RUM OR TEQUILA
    Likes fighting almost as much as getting laid.

    BACARDI BREEZER, RED SQUARE, ARCHERS COOLER, SMIRNOFF ICE, ETC
    He’s gay (blatantly) - don’t turn your back or pick up any dropped change.
    "There will come a moment when you have the chance to do the right thing......"

    "I Love those moments - I like to wave at them as they pass by...."


    ImgBurn Support Forum

    Stop !! Before you post read this !

    cynthia is Queen of the smilies !
  • Kabuchan
    Digital Video Enthusiast
    Digital Video Enthusiast
    • Apr 2006
    • 399

    #2
    That's priceless, lfcrule1972. Love it!

    Wine drinker myself, but I think Paris is a bit spoiled!
    That was Zen, this is Tao

    My Gallery

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    • AlienX69
      Interstellar Traveler
      • Feb 2005
      • 550

      #3
      TEQUILA, Please ......

      Comment

      • lfcrule1972
        Liverpool 'til I die......
        • Nov 2003
        • 365

        #4
        I have never been to Paris, either the French Capital nor the Hotel Heiress.....
        "There will come a moment when you have the chance to do the right thing......"

        "I Love those moments - I like to wave at them as they pass by...."


        ImgBurn Support Forum

        Stop !! Before you post read this !

        cynthia is Queen of the smilies !

        Comment

        • lfcrule1972
          Liverpool 'til I die......
          • Nov 2003
          • 365

          #5
          Mines a whisky then
          "There will come a moment when you have the chance to do the right thing......"

          "I Love those moments - I like to wave at them as they pass by...."


          ImgBurn Support Forum

          Stop !! Before you post read this !

          cynthia is Queen of the smilies !

          Comment

          • lfcrule1972
            Liverpool 'til I die......
            • Nov 2003
            • 365

            #6
            Doesn't look good for Guinness drinkers tho eh ?
            "There will come a moment when you have the chance to do the right thing......"

            "I Love those moments - I like to wave at them as they pass by...."


            ImgBurn Support Forum

            Stop !! Before you post read this !

            cynthia is Queen of the smilies !

            Comment

            • AlienX69
              Interstellar Traveler
              • Feb 2005
              • 550

              #7
              Originally Posted by lfcrule1972
              I have never been to Paris, either the French Capital nor the Hotel Heiress.....
              Capitol would be good, the other ..... PASS !

              Comment

              • AlienX69
                Interstellar Traveler
                • Feb 2005
                • 550

                #8
                Originally Posted by lfcrule1972
                Doesn't look good for Guinness drinkers tho eh ?
                Beer .... favorite ... Mich, Amber Bock

                Comment

                • floresdave
                  results may vary
                  • Mar 2006
                  • 164

                  #9
                  Makers Mark Johnie Walker or Henry Weinhards basically all i drink(as far as alcohol is concerned). I'll drink Jack Daniels if they don't have makers so i guess i need to learn how to sew and knit, but how will that get me laid?

                  BTW ALienX they have Michelob in Area 51, Anheusher Busch is everywhere!
                  Last edited by floresdave; 29 Jun 2006, 11:21 PM.

                  Comment

                  • Aegmorgil
                    Super Member
                    Super Member
                    • Nov 2005
                    • 232

                    #10
                    I'm an import, guinness and rum drinker almost exclusively. LT will be arresting me shortly....

                    Comment

                    • BR7
                      He is coming to your little town!
                      • Aug 2005
                      • 2137

                      #11
                      There is no substitute


                      My Blu-ray Collection

                      Comment

                      • Kabuchan
                        Digital Video Enthusiast
                        Digital Video Enthusiast
                        • Apr 2006
                        • 399

                        #12
                        Originally Posted by floresdave
                        Makers Mark Johnie Walker or Henry Weinhards basically all i drink(as far as alcohol is concerned). I'll drink Jack Daniels if they don't have makers so i guess i need to learn how to sew and knit, but how will that get me laid?

                        BTW ALienX they have Michelob in Area 51, Anheusher Busch is everywhere!
                        It won't, we'd probably set you up with that cowboy in the corner singing show tunes! LMAO
                        That was Zen, this is Tao

                        My Gallery

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                        • MikeyBK
                          Digital Video Maniac
                          • Feb 2006
                          • 1131

                          #13
                          Pina Coladas and Margaritas for me!!
                          MBK

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                          • lfcrule1972
                            Liverpool 'til I die......
                            • Nov 2003
                            • 365

                            #14
                            Hey this is turning into a meeting of alcoholics anonymous......... I will go first....

                            Hi everyone - I am lfcrule1972 and I am an alcoholic.............
                            "There will come a moment when you have the chance to do the right thing......"

                            "I Love those moments - I like to wave at them as they pass by...."


                            ImgBurn Support Forum

                            Stop !! Before you post read this !

                            cynthia is Queen of the smilies !

                            Comment

                            • smkymntgrl
                              Digital Video Technician
                              Digital Video Technician
                              • Feb 2005
                              • 449

                              #15
                              Originally Posted by lfcrule1972
                              Hey this is turning into a meeting of alcoholics anonymous......... I will go first....

                              Hi everyone - I am lfcrule1972 and I am an alcoholic.............


                              The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem!!!

                              Smkymntgrl

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